


Way Too Many People in the Addison Lee

by louisniall, nouiszouis



Series: Monthshots! [9]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Bottom Harry, Car Sex, Harry gets fucked in a onesie, Louis can't keep his hands to himself, M/M, One Direction Onesie, Road Head, Top Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 11:53:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1687337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louisniall/pseuds/louisniall, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nouiszouis/pseuds/nouiszouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis can't seem to keep his hands to himself when he's drunk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Way Too Many People in the Addison Lee

**Author's Note:**

> day nine !
> 
> this is like the worst thing i've ever written its such a poor excuse for a oneshot but oh well
> 
> this is not really but kind of a prompt fill for the lovely ellie ([lovedyoufirst](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lovedyoufirst/pseuds/lovedyoufirst) on ao3 or [@zouishockey](https://twitter.com/zouishockey) on twitter) of [this](https://24.media.tumblr.com/2d281be97d7e95a1a0065d01cf2c4275/tumblr_n64zupWANz1rpjzuro1_500.jpg) prompt thing
> 
> song title is from "midnight memories" by one direction :)

Somehow Harry is always roped into picking up Louis at midnight from bars and clubs no matter where they are. He's like Louis' father. (Not his daddy, you kinky shit. His _father_.)

It's not that Harry minds waking up at midnight/1/2/3/4 AM to pick up his drunk boyfriend. He doesn't. He'll do anything for Louis, really. It's not even that bad when they're in Colombia or Argentina and he has to navigate his way through clubs looking for him. He doesn't mind.

He just _hates_ that Louis always expects a shag or two or three. Sometimes he even gets his cock out on the way home. Not that Harry's complaining, really. It's just that when he gets the call that night, he realises he's really not in the mood for road head and then having to bottom because drunk Louis seems to love topping.

"Hey — hey Hazza," Louis slurs into the phone at — oh, it's only eleven. "I need ya ta come pick me up."

Harry smiles. "Where are you, love?"

He hears something crash and Louis swears. "Um — I think — Zaynie! Where are we? — This place called Two Ways," Louis says.

Harry snorts. "You took Zayn to a gay bar?"

"It's a gay bar? That makes sense. Three different blokes asked me into the restroom. Like, if you wanna sleep with me, fuck me in your damn Maserati, not a shitty toilet cubicle." He hears Louis swallow and his grin only widens. "So can ya come?"

Harry nods. "Yeah, I'll be there in a few. Don't leave, okay? Stay where you are. Actually, go outside with Zayn. Is he drunk?"

"I never thought I'd ever see the day Zayn publically sucked cock," Louis says.

"So thats a yes to the drunk thing?"

"Most definitely."

Louis only talks with big words when he's high. Great. "What've you taken?"

There's a small silence at the other end. "I think Zayn had dabs again," he says. "Dunno, actually. But it's _wicked._ "

Harry sighs. "Just stay where you are. I'll be there soon."

"Love you," Louis says. Harry smiles.

"Love you too." He hangs up and scrubs a hand over his face.

On the way down from their flat Harry stops in the custodial closet and snags a bucket in the event Louis is _really_ drunk, which, he probably isn't, since he's forming coherent sentences.

He programs in the address to his phone and thankfully it's relatively close by and it's only going to take him ten minutes. Best Song Ever is playing on the radio when he turns it on and he shamelessly listens to his own voice on the way there.

He pulls up to a black building with one-way mirror windows and a neon-purple sign that says "TWO WAYS — FOR THE GAY". Just under the sign is Louis and Zayn. He drives up to the curb and rolls down the passenger window. "Get in losers. We're going shopping."

Neither of them laugh which means they didn't get his reference or they didn't think _Mean Girls_ was very funny. He goes with the former and waits until both boys have their seatbelts buckled. He hears Louis snickering next to him. "What's so funny?"

"You're wearing One Direction footie pajamas," Louis says. He's right. He walked all the way out to the public parkinglot wearing a onesie. Zayn leans forward to take a look and laughs too and _god_ , he absolutely _reeks_ of weed.

"That I am," Harry says, glancing down where Louis' hand has attached itself to his thigh right over Niall's face. "You going home Zayn?"

"Yeah mate, thanks."

Unfortunately, Zayn's flat is about half an hour away from theirs. They drop him off and Harry puts the A/C on full blast to rid of the stench and shifts into drive. Louis' hand shifts up his leg and his lips are on Harry's neck.

"Lou," he warns. "No."

"C'mon, you party pooper," he says, nipping at the skin on his neck. "Just a bit of fun."

"You need to learn to keep your hands to yourself," Harry says. He lifts Louis' hand off of his thigh and places it in Louis' lap on top of his other hand — no, Louis' othe hand is tangled in Harry's hair —

_That's his penis._

"I'm not five," Louis says, putting his hand that Harry just moved onto his chest. "Just wanna give some road head."

Harry groans. "Unless you want us to crash, don't."

Louis lets out a laugh. "We won't crash! Just lemme, c'mon."

"No, Louis. Let me drive."

Louis sits back and pouts. "You're no fun."

"And you're drunk _and_ high."

"So?"

"So be glad I'm not telling Paul!"

Louis hits him on the arm and his hand is at the top of Harry's pajamas, hovering over the zipper.

"Louis," Harry says, "don't."

Louis' fingers clamp onto the cool metal of the zipper and tug a millimeter. Harry's hands grip the wheel tighter and tighter every movement Louis makes until the zipper is down enough that Louis is satisfied. "You'll thank me later."

Louis takes Harry's semi out of his pajamas and wiggles it around. "It's so cute!"

Harry's knuckles are bone-white on the wheel, his teeth clenched. "Put it away, Louis." He feels Louis look up at him with a pout. "Louis," he says sternly, "put it _away_."

Louis is like a little kid. If you tell him not to do something, he does it. So when instead Louis ducks his head down and takes Harry's tip into his mouth and suckles on it, he can't say he's surprised.

He wills himself not to get hard (mostly because he's driving and his face his right near his cock on his pajamas) but Louis continues to suck and knead his thumb and pointer finger up and down his length until he's fully hard and aching. Louis starts bobbing his head proper, licking on the underside and using his tiny hand to get whatever his mouth can’t reach.

Harry can’t fucking take it. He’s shaking in his seat and his vision’s going a bit blurry. He looks for an empty lot or something, but when he doesn’t find one, he pulls off into the grass and unbuckles his seatbelt. Louis pulls off and smirks. “Gotcha. Get into the back seat.”

Harry obliges and crawls into the back seat, laying down and spreading his legs for Louis. “Have you got lube in here?”

“Glove compartment,” Harry says, pressing the heel of his hand into his cock. He watches Louis strip himself in the front seat, grab the lube, and climb into the back. He squirts a generous amount of lube on three fingers and circles one around Harry’s rim. His hips buck towards his finger and the tip of it slides in and Harry moans.

Louis pumps just the one in and out slowly, eventually adding a second, and then a third. Harry feels him curving them, searching for his spot. His head is foggy and he’s sweating like crazy in his stupid onesie and he wants to ride Louis into tomorrow. “Lou — Lou ‘m ready.”

Louis looks up at him and smiles. “Yeah? Can you ride me in your pajamas?” Harry looks down and frowns. The zipper only really goes down a bit more than where it is and — oh, fuck it. He nods.

Louis smirks and pats his bare thighs. “Come on then, we don’t have all day.”

Harry sits on his thighs and lubes up Louis’ cock and then raises himself above it and sits. He can feel his pajamas wetting from the lube but the stretch and feel of _Louis_ is so much better than that.

Once he’s fully seated the both let out moans. Harry rocks back and forth a little, just to get a bit of a feel. It’s been a while since he’s done this really. Louis’ fingers are tight on his hips and his lips are attached to the little sliver of skin between the open zipper teeth. “Move, love.”

Harry starts a quick, sharp pace and Louis throws his head back and moans, his fingers tightening on his hips and starting to take control. “Fuck, Harry. Jesus — _fuck_ ,” he moans as Harry slams down and stays still. He’s completely out of breath and his thighs hurt like a bitch. He slumps forward onto Louis’ chest as Louis’ fingers dance up his cock. “You tired, babe?” Harry nods. Louis tightens his grip on Harry’s hips and starts lifting him and pressing him back down at a pace similar to before and Harry bites his shoulder and groans into it.

It doesn’t take long before Harry’s close and he gives a warning nip to Louis’ neck. Louis thrusts him up and down even faster and harder, and Harry comes hard in between them, hot, thick ropes all over Louis’ chest and his stupid One Direction onesie. Louis removes a hand from Harry’s hips and swipes some of the cum off of his chest and sticks his fingers into Harry’s mouth. He moans around them and swipes his tongue over them. He feels Louis twitch in front of him and he brings Harry’s hips down in a final thrust and comes inside of him.

They both fall over onto the seat, sweaty and sticky with cum, and shut their eyes. Harry’s absolutely dead — he just wanted to get home and sleep, and now he’s in the back seat of his range rover with cum on his pajamas. He looks down and notices most of his cum is on Louis’ face on his pajamas and he laughs. “What’s so funny?” Louis asks, smiling and poking Harry's dimple.

“I did a cumshot on your face,” he says, giggling still. Louis looks down, smiles, and rolls his eyes and pulls him in for a kiss.

“I guess that’s what I get for not being able to keep my hands to myself, right?”

Harry smiles again. “Kinda glad you didn’t though. But now I want food.”

“You _are_ the driver, Harry,” Louis says. Harry purses his lips and nods.He zips up his onesie and climbs back into the front seat and drives them to a McDonalds and they eat in the back seat of the car.

“You’ve got a bit of cum on your chin,” Louis says, swiping it off with his finger and showing it to him.

“It’s mayonnaise!” Harry protests.

“Where would you get mayo on you from? You hate mayo!”

Harry’s eyes widen in realisation and he slaps a hand to his face. “I can’t believe I drove up there with _semen_ on my face.”

Louis laughs and kisses him. “It suits you.”

They laugh.

 

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos are appreciated ! ao3 is louisniall and twitter is @louisniaii :)


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